Thoughts in Ruku'

There's a hairsbreadth of difference between losing yourself to the expansive glory and letting yourself be lost to the invading darkness. It's also the difference between night and day.

The mind that can perceive the wonders of the blazing sun before it can suddenly become all too conscious of its own shadow stretching out behind.

And sometimes the sun is what harms and the cool darkness heals.

The angels and the devils are both lurking. And I am glad.

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These thoughts came to me while I was in the position of ruku' during the ritual or salat prayer. In this part of the prayer, the Muslim bows from the waist and recites prayers to God, such as "Glory be to my Lord, the Exalted."

In the repetitive words and motions of the prayer, it is easy to get distracted, and ironically, sometimes what distracts me most is the conscious voice that emerges, telling me how focused I am for once! When I congratulate myself on being focused, it means I have come out of focus.

For me, it takes courage to leave my insights behind sometimes and rededicate myself to God, believing that if the knowledge I have gained is useful, I will remember and record it later, but now there is only room for One.